Dressing Rooms

Let me begin by adamantly stating “I HATE TRYING ON NEW CLOTHING!” and thus I hate dressing rooms. Why are they so stinking small? Why is the lighting so unflattering? And I’m convinced that the mirrors are like those at a fun house and MUST add at least 20 pounds. Okay, so that is simply wishful thinking and in all honestly if I was fit and firm dressing rooms would probably be my friend.

Now when you add in the additional element of three daughters and a single dressing room things can get interesting. Yesterday the four of us found ourselves crammed inside a 3’ x 3’ dressing room, me trying on jeans in various double digit sizes and the peanut gallery; my own personal reality show in the making. Middle Duck keeps up a running commentary critiquing each pair of jeans and various portions of my ample anatomy. Baby Duck alternates between licking the mirror, and trying to escape via crawling into the adjoining dressing room, or simply opening the door. Eldest Duck is wisely keeping her comments and hands to herself but had the dressing room been larger I’m sure she would have simply started doing sit-ups. (In the past she has simply watched me try on clothing and broken into a spontaneous exercise routine.)

I ended up leaving without any jeans, vowing to start and stick to a diet and exercise program. Next time I think I’ll invest in a baby sitter.