Sometimes I Forget

This afternoon was beautiful. Warm, light breeze and three little girls playing happily in the back yard; my idea of bliss. As I listened to them talk and laugh it brought such joy to my heart. While I was contemplating this, I realized that for a moment I forgot that I was a brain cancer survivor. I forgot and that filled my heart with joy too. Sometimes I just don’t realize how it’s always there in the back of my mind…until I forget. Yes, it was a good day and I am SO thankful.

Shred Update

Well I'm on day 14 or so of the JM 30 Day Shred and and as of yesterday, I'm down four pounds! Yeah me. I moved to level 2 even though level 1 was still kicking my booty, but I'm easily bored and needed a change.

I say anyone can find 20 minutes to work out and these minutes really count.

Old Photos

My Aunt is scanning old family photos and sent me these today. They are from 1971 or so. They made me a little sad. My Daddy passed away in 1985 at the age of 42 and I still miss him. I wish he had gotten to meet Mister Duck and my precious Ducklings; he would have loved them. The "Hamms" beer is classic Daddy. That must be where I got my beer loving gene. LOL

The other picture is of my Mamaw (My Mom's Mom) who passed away in 2003. She was a pistol, drove like a crazy woman and had a knack for taking care of everyone around her. She was a nurse for 30 years and I swear she knew everyone in the county. (She got pulled over for speeding all of the time and NEVER got a ticket because it seemed she'd always taken care of one of the officers loved ones.) She was a very special lady who loved us grandkids unconditionally; I don't think we could have done anything to make her not love us. I miss her too.

And the little girl in the photo...well that's me. I can see all of my girls as I look at that picture, but hardly recognize it as me.

Here’s Your Sign

What’s your name? What do you believe? How do you describe yourself? All these labels, titles, and names can they affect who we ultimately become?

Smiley Duck considers herself a “tomboy” and views “girly-girl” as an insult. This bothers me on some level because I simply want her to be herself, to like what she likes and not judge others by what they like. I’ve been having difficulty conveying this to her in several arenas, but I think clothing is the easiest to explain. She absolutely will NOT wear a dress, anything pink or heaven forbid with flowers. (Gasp.) Getting dressed for special occasions such as piano recital or family pictures has become a battle. I’ve tried compromise; she can wear pants, but they have to be dressy with a nice top. It worked for awhile but lately all she wants to wear are jeans with a soccer t-shirt. (And I mean that’s all…she will dig these two items out of the dirty clothes!)

Yesterday during one of these battles I asked her why she didn’t want to wear a certain pair of Capri pants and she said she was scared someone would tease her. This stopped me in my tracks. It’s one thing for her to not want to wear them because of what she thinks about them, but I don’t want her to allow others (except me ha-ha) to determine how she dresses. It was a nice opening to talk about not letting others determine what we think about ourselves and having the confidence to wear what we want…even if it is covered with pink flowers or happens to be a batman mask.

SuperGirl

I just had to post this picture. This is Middle Duck playing soccer. She does get into the game! She also informed me that "Middle Duck" is not a proper duck name and I'd better come up with something better. Man this kid cracks me up.

The 30 Day Shred

Last week I started working out again. I do this periodically to torture myself, usually working out like a mad woman for a week or so, get incredibly sore, then quit; only to repeat the process a month or so later. Seriously why can’t I simply be faithful to a workout and just skip the lactic acid burn thing?

But I digress; I bought the Jillian Michaels 30 day shred. I read some reviews and it appealed to me because the workouts are only 20 minutes long. (It takes me that long to drive to the gym.) I can squeeze a 20 minute workout into my day and convince myself that’s a very short time to devote getting fit. This program makes some big promises (lose 20 pounds in 30 days) about weight loss which I didn’t exactly buy, but at least it’s getting my rear off the couch.

The program has three levels featuring a warm up then 3 minutes of strength, 2 minutes of cardio and 1 minute of abs (three sets) then stretching. So far I’ve done level one for 5 days and it’s not an easy workout. I love Jillian, she’s not a “girly” girl and she has me laughing at some of her comments. “Abs like these don’t come for free.” and “I have 400 pound people who can do jumping jacks, so can you!” are among my favorites. Each level also has two demonstrators, one who does low impact/modified versions of the exercise and one who kicks it up. So far I’ve worked out in between the two, when I can go high the entire time I’ll switch to the next level.

In addition I’ve been journaling everything I eat and after one week I’ve lost 2 pounds! I need to lose at least as much weight as Baby Duck currently weighs, but it’s a start.

My Heart is Hungry

Let me preface this and say that homeschooling is often difficult and time consuming. Often I’ve felt I’m neglecting the littlest member of my family but I never realized how much she felt it too.

Late afternoon, after a long day of school where I rotated Baby Duck between writing her name, coloring, some PBS cartoons she came into the kitchen and climbed up to the bar where I was preparing dinner and said, “Mommy, my heart is hungry.” And it absolutely broke my heart. Those who home school know that it is often a balancing act getting everything done. There are only so many hours in each day.

I want the best for my girls and so I find that often I am so focused on the next thing on my “to do” list I forget that hugging, cuddling and playing are just as important in the world of a three year old. She’s only going to be little for such a short while, I need to remember that she needs that extra touch, kiss and cuddle. So it is my prayer that I keep her heart full and she’s never hungry.

Doesn’t this picture just make you want to grab her up and snuggle her?